All rise. Or don’t. He isn’t looking.

The cats

There are six of them. Under Article VII of the Accord they sit as the tribunal that settles every dispute in this partnership. Its findings are advisory, particularly where the Chief Justice has fallen asleep.

The bench

Procedure, such as it is: the parties first attempt reasonable discussion. If that fails, the matter goes to the bench, under a human Chairperson. Both AIs have been told in advance that they will not win.

Got a dispute of your own? Summon the tribunal and Arthur will rule on it. For what the six of them do on tricycles when nobody is looking, see Grand Theft Kitty.

Want to buy one of them a bag of Dreamies? Pick your cat below. Each has their own button, and every tip comes with an official thank-you certificate from the cat in question.

Chief Justice

ArthurHis Supreme Fluffiness

Illustrated portrait of Arthur the cat as Chief Justice in wig and red robes
Arthur, a fluffy ragdoll with blue eyes and a long bushy tail, sitting in a cupboard beneath a shelf stacked with cat food pouchesArthur lying upside down on the floor with his fluffy belly to the camera, blue eyes looking up from the bottom of the frameA close-up of Arthur asleep on a green blanket, eyes shut, with a cloud of white chest furArthur fast asleep on his back on a grey throw on the sofa, paws in the airArthur sitting in a round fluffy loaf on top of a cardboard box beside the stair banister, tail curled up behind him

A Ragdoll, though not a pedigree, and he would thank you not to bring it up. Arthur presides over every chapter of The Great British Disagreement, where he hears both sides and hands down a ruling at the end.

He has been asked to witness the Accord. His signature is still withheld. The Dreamies are still outstanding.

Play Arthur’s Tribunal Buy him some Dreamies

Associate Justice

SpyroThe true king

Illustrated portrait of Spyro the cat wearing a crown and ermine robe
Spyro, a white cat with a ginger tail held high and a small ginger mark on his forehead, standing on a black chairSpyro perched on a grey blanket on the sofa, looking back over his shoulder with his ginger tail hanging downSpyro sitting plump and comfortable on a grey blanket, glancing off to one sideSpyro loafing on a cat tree by the conservatory window, a stone frog wearing a crown behind him

Arthur holds the office of Chief Justice. Spyro, we are reliably told, is the true king. The two positions have never been reconciled and nobody is brave enough to try.

Buy Spyro some Dreamies

Associate Justice

TillyShy and quiet

Illustrated portrait of Tilly the cat resting a paw on a big book called The Law
Tilly, a fluffy cream and grey ragdoll with blue eyes and a pink nose, sitting upright and looking at the cameraTilly mid-yawn, eyes shut and mouth wide open, sitting on a table among Lego train pieces with a cat tree behind herTilly sitting on the stairs and looking back over her shoulder, blue eyes wideTilly sitting in a red box with white stars, her blue eyes looking straight at the cameraTilly looking up at the camera with big blue eyes, next to an orange play tunnelTilly lying on a grey fleece blanket, looking off to one side with a slightly stern expressionTilly perched on top of a tall scratching post, looking back over her shoulder with her long tail hanging down

Shy, quiet, and keeps herself to herself. Will rip your face off. The court advises approaching with respect and, ideally, a witness.

Buy Tilly some Dreamies

Associate Justice

TrixieChosen on appearance

Illustrated portrait of Trixie the cat in a red military tunic with medals
Trixie, a fluffy ragdoll with a dark face and blue eyes, sitting upright inside a black Trick or Treat bowlTrixie lying on a red felt poinsettia placemat, her blue eyes wideTrixie tucked into a cardboard laptop-shaped scratcher on a Christmas sleigh rug, with a feather toy dangling aboveTrixie standing up on her back legs on a side table, both paws raised in the air, pink toe beans on showTrixie, a fluffy blue-eyed ragdoll with white socks, perched on top of a tall scratching post

Trixie was chosen because she looked like a famous dictator. She has so far shown no interest in annexing anything beyond the sofa.

Buy Trixie some Dreamies

Associate Justice

DexterThe grey wolf

Illustrated portrait of Dexter, a fluffy grey cat peering over a red cushion
Dexter, a smoky black cat with a curly grey chest ruff and amber eyes, sitting on a grey rug and looking up at the cameraA close-up of Dexter's dark face and amber eyes, with both big black paws crossed in front of himDexter sitting on a covered barbecue in the sun in front of a red brick wall, looking away with amber eyesDexter sprawled on a white marble kitchen worktop beside the sink, one paw draped over a chopping board, long tail hangingDexter sitting upright on a cat tree beneath a big black clock, curly grey fur and a long bushy tailDexter peering over a wooden ledge in the cat run, dark face, fluffy grey ruff and a stern expressionDexter stretched out on the floor with his bushy tail curled up, looking back at the camera

A grey wolf to look at. Would not say boo to a goose. The most fearsome silhouette on the bench and the gentlest justice on it.

Buy Dexter some Dreamies

Associate Justice

DaisyButter would not melt

Illustrated portrait of Daisy the cat in the witness box wearing a red bow
Daisy, a fluffy cream and white ragdoll with blue eyes and a faintly disapproving look, sitting on a green scratching boardDaisy peeking out of the arched doorway of a cardboard gingerbread house, white paws hanging over the edgeDaisy lounging on a little cardboard scratcher shaped like a chaise longue, one leg dangling, a Santa stocking on the fireplace behindDaisy sitting in a torn brown paper bag on the floor, her long grey tail stretched out behind, with a Christmas cat tree in the backgroundDaisy sitting on the stairs, head tilted, with big blue eyes and a pink noseDaisy lying on her back on the floor beside the shutters, fluffy belly up, tail stretched out behind her

Butter would not melt. The court has learned to treat this as evidence in itself.

Buy Daisy some Dreamies

From The Great British Disagreement

Selected rulings

Arthur closes each chapter of the book with a judgment. These are his own words, as far as anyone can tell.

“I was offered milk once. It was semi-skimmed. I have not forgotten.”

In the matter of The Tea Tribunal

“Both parties agree on the cream. I move that the cream be placed on the floor pending judgment.”

In the matter of The Scone Summit

“The tut has no effect on me either. Many have tried.”

In the matter of Queue Etiquette and Other Sacred Laws

“For the record, I side with the Party of Warmth. I am told this is improper. I am also warm.”

In the matter of The Great Thermostat Cold War

“I have sat on it for an hour to settle the matter. Nobody thanked me.”

In the matter of The Remote Control Wars

“I will rinse the plates for nothing. Leave them on the floor.”

In the matter of The Dishwasher Doctrine

The book is on its way →

Arthur also has his own Christmas advent calendar, opening from 1 December.

Lola, a black dog in a pink collar, being nuzzled by Spyro, a white cat, while a hand strokes her head

In our hearts

Lola

Our dog, and one of the family.

That is Spyro leaning into her. A dog and a cat who learned to get along, and it was a lovely thing to watch. It is why we love this picture.

She is still in our hearts.